A Quiet Step Forward

My first appointment – thoughts, feelings, and what to expect

A Moment in the Waiting Room

I’m sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment. It feels very real now. Quiet. Clinical. A strange calm mixed with nerves.

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t even be here—like it shouldn’t take this much to do something so natural. I didn’t imagine this would be part of my story.

And yet… it is.

I’m just here. Waiting. Feeling everything. Wanting to be hopeful, but also protecting myself just a little.

There are lots of other people here—older, younger, couples, individuals. All types. All going through their own version of this journey. It’s strange and comforting at the same time.

This is a quiet step forward. A beginning. I don’t know exactly what’s ahead, but I’m here, and that means something.

What the First Appointment Is Like

The appointment was more efficient than I expected—calm, clear, and over fairly quickly.

First, I had a transvaginal scan. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s an internal ultrasound used to get a clearer picture of your reproductive health. You need to have an empty bladder for this, which feels a bit counterintuitive if you’re used to pregnancy scans that require a full one.

The scan itself took around 5–10 minutes. It was mostly pain-free—just one point that felt a little uncomfortable, but nothing unbearable. The person doing the scan was efficient and professional, which helped it feel less awkward.

After that, they took blood tests, including one to check AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone)—a key marker of ovarian reserve. It all felt very clinical but in a reassuring way. No fluff or emotion, just a step forward.

After the Appointment – What I’m Processing Now

I feel tired, but grateful to have taken a step forward.

It’s not a dramatic change—I’m not walking out with answers or a plan—but just showing up and getting through it feels meaningful. Something has begun.

I’m still apprehensive. The results will take time, and I won’t speak to the consultant for another two weeks. That waiting is hard. There’s so much I don’t know yet.

But for now, I’ve done what I can. I’ve turned up. I’ve started.

And that’s enough for today.

💭 Journaling After Your First Appointment

If you’ve just had your first fertility appointment — or are preparing for one — it might help to pause and reflect.

Here are a few journaling prompts that helped me process it all:

  • How did the experience feel in my body — physically and emotionally?
  • What thoughts or fears came up before, during, or after the appointment?
  • What would I say to myself with compassion right now?
  • What do I want to remember about this moment?
  • What small step might support me while I wait?

There’s no right way to do this. Just give yourself space to notice how you feel, without judgement. Sometimes a few gentle questions can help you honour the moment, even if it didn’t bring answers.

A Note for Others Starting Out

If you’re reading this because you’re about to go to your first appointment, I just want to say: I see you. It’s okay to feel nervous, unsure, or even like you shouldn’t have to be doing this at all.

But showing up takes courage. Even sitting in that waiting room is something to be proud of.

Here are a few things I learned from today that might help:

  • You’ll need an empty bladder for a transvaginal scan – a small but important detail.
  • The scan is quick—5 to 10 minutes—and mostly pain-free, though you might feel a bit of discomfort at times.
  • Blood tests are likely, including one for AMH (a marker of ovarian reserve), and possibly others depending on your clinic.
  • You might not get answers right away. Some clinics require a follow-up consultation before discussing next steps. Waiting can be hard—try to be gentle with yourself during this time.
  • You can ask questions. It’s okay if you don’t understand everything at first—bring a list if you’re nervous you’ll forget.
  • It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Even if nothing dramatic happens during the appointment, it can still feel like a big moment inside.

You don’t need to be brave every second. You just need to keep going, one small step at a time. And every step forward matters more than you know.

If you’re just starting out too, or you’ve already been on this path for a while, I’d love to hear from you.

You can leave a comment below or connect with me on Instagram  or Facebook @bloomflourishcollective.

Sometimes just knowing someone else understands makes all the difference.

We’re not alone in this—even when it feels like it. 💛

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